Revolving Walls
by Lockhart
Summary: Elizabeth/Mark/Romano. One incident concerning the one you love the most is capable of making you see two people in very different ways.
1. Landslide

Revolving Walls  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Landslide  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters, it's just wishful thinking. This is a storyline that has been in my mind for a little while now. I wanted to write a fic focusing more on Elizabeth and her thoughts and feelings etc. In my point of view, she is a very interesting character and I wanted to explore the many sides of her. This is a rather surprising storyline that could shock a few. It may at first seem unbelievable but as you read on, hopefully you can see how believable it actually is. Spoilers for Season 8, especially the episode 'Damage Is Done' which is where this chaper begins. Enjoy!!  
  
I took my love, I took it down  
  
Climbed a mountain and I turned around  
  
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills  
  
'Till the landslide brought me down  
  
( Landslide by Stevie Nicks )  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
When I reflect on the past couple of months, I sigh with great regret at the choices I made. The selfish, silly decisions I stupidly made without any real thought or consideration for the consequences of my actions. It's ironic that awoman of my intelligence can dominate a heart and lung transplant in the operating room time and time again, but isn't capable of sorting out her own personal affairs. As I sit here in silence aboard the aircraft lovingly cradling Ella in my arms, I try to make sense of my course of action. Pondering what could have happened if I chosen a different path to travel down, if I has said or done this instead of that. My mind is full of pointless what ifs. I brush a strand of my curly hair behind my ear and lean forward to glance out the small, square window. I lose count of how long I sit like this, staring blankly at the mass of white clouds below me. Minutes, hours, god only knows. How I wish I could turn back the hands of time to correct the mistakes I made. But I can't, it's as painfully simple as that. This burden of guilt will stay by my side until the day I eventually die. I'm not travelling to England to try and escape the mess I've left behind, but to carve out a new life for myself and my daughter. It's what Mark would have wanted, I'm certain of that fact. My name is Elizabeth Corday, and this is my sad tale.  
  
Damage Is Done  
  
She kept on believing that this was simply nothing more than a bad dream. That she would wake up in the safety of Mark's embrace to hear Ella's screams and wails of hunger. But when she casted her eyes upon her daughter's tiny, lifeless body in the PICU, Elizabeth remembered that it was reality. The English surgeon rested her trembling, icy hand upon Ella's pale cheek, stroking the soft, smooth flesh lovingly as her eyes ran up and down the wires and machines the baby was currently hooked up to. She quickly lost count of exactly how many wires surrounded her precious child, too many. Her tired, weary eyes focused on the small face betraying no expression at all. It was hard to imagine that she could never see Ella laugh or smile again. The whole situation seemed so unreal. That morning she lay ill in bed with the flu, tonight she sits alone in a drakened room of the PICU, waiting to see if her daughter would recover from a near fatal amphetamine overdose. Overdose. Ella wasn't even one year old yet! How could Rachel possibly be so careless as to leave ecstasy tablets lying around her bedroom when a young baby is there? She's fourteen for christ's sake, she shouldn't even be doing drugs in the first place! The second Elizabeth caught sight of her standing outside the trauma room, she swore she could have strangled her with her bare hands. She had allowed Rachel to live with herself and Mark, she had endured the endless disputes and arguments the teenager had caused, and then her baby daughter's life had been endangered because of the irresponsible teen. Her own flesh and blood had nearly been taken away because of some brat's carelessness. Okay, so perhaps Rachel didn't leave the ecstasy tablets lying around on purpose but Elizabeth was consumed with rage and hatred. And Mark was seemingly pretending that his precious Rachel hadn't committed any real crime. He obviously forgets that Ella nearly died tonight. Did he actually expect her to listen to that brat's excuses when she nearly snatched the life away of her baby? The female surgeon refused to play hapy familes anymore. Her child was her life, she refused to pretend everything was rosy.  
  
"It's either her or us Mark" she whispered softly, stroking Ella's cheek as she spoke.  
  
It was time for Mark to make a decision of who beared more importance in his life. Things would never be fine again. Never.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Elizabeth" a male voice whispered as the woman slowly awoke from her slumber. "Lizzie" he rested his hand on her shoulder and shook it lightly.  
  
"What?" she groaned with exhaustion, forcing her eyes open when remembered the horrific events of the past couple of hours. A mild wave of dizziness and nausea passed over the mother as her head jerked upwards to quickly check on Ella. Thankfully her daughter was still by her side, thankfully still alive. She ran a hand through her tangled, greasy hair before finally meeting the man's concerned stare.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't realise you were asleep" Robert apologised sincerely, his voice oddly comforting to Elizabeth at this moment in time. "I've brought you dinner" he continued, brandishing a brown paper bag which he placed carefully on the small night-stand. "It's just coffee and some bagels, muffins......no three course meal and champagne I'm afraid"  
  
She laughed lightly at his attempts to humour her, it was nice to see Robert acted just the same in any sitaution. Yet his sarcasm brought some much needed sanity to this whole mess. It was oddly comforting. "Thank you" she finally replied, rather touched and taken aback that he had gone to all the trouble to order some food for her.  
  
"How is she?" he referred to Ella, taking a seat beside Elizabeth. "She's stable at the moment on fifty percent oxygen, lungs are still wet though"  
  
"Her condition's improving, should be able to extubate first thing tomorrow morning. It's good news"  
  
Elizabeth nodded at the male surgeon's words, pleased by the fact they brought some sort of comfort to her. Deep down she could sense he was very hopeful for Ella, he wasn't simply lying to try and reassure her. For the first time in her life, she was thankful Robert Romano was there with her. It was strange to find support and comfort from the man she had long since despised.  
  
"And where's Mark?" he suddenly asked harshly, breaking the long pause of ackward silence between the pair.  
  
"With her" she answered coldly, bitter by the fact that her husband was choosing to spend time with the one person who was resposible for Ella's critical condition.  
  
"She's his daughter........"  
  
"And this is Mark's other daughter!" she interrupted, throwing her hands in the air in anger. "He hasn't even phoned the police yet" she spoke quietly, returning her attention to Ella. "I don't expeect he ever will. I mean does he actually exepect me to speak with Rachel after everything she has done? What the bloody hell am I supposed to say to her? It's alright pumpkin, you nearly killed my daughter but everything is just fine and dandy!"  
  
"I don't think anyone could expect you to face her after what has just happened" Robert agreed with the woman, filling her with some hope that at least one person was on her side of the argument. The pair stared at each other for a handful of seconds, studying each others faces before finally looking away.  
  
"This doesn't happen in real life" Elizabeth laughed bitterly, shaking her head in confusion. "It's like a plot from a family drama, not Elizabeth Corday's life"  
  
"I'm afraid it is real life" Robert replied, his tone of voice barely louder than a whisper. "But Ella's strong, just like her mother" he mumbled those last four words under his breath, not realising she still heard them clearly. He rested his hand upon the female surgeon's, giving it a quick reassuring before standing up to leave. She watched him exit by the door, the harsh light from the outside corridor pouring into the small room before darkness enveloped the tired, emotional woman. Once again she sat alone. A part of her so desperately wanted to follow Romano and ask him to stay by her side for another ten minutes or so. Just for a little while, just so she wouldn't have to sit alone. Why do I suddenly wish Robert Romano to be here for me, she sighed in exhaustion. It should be Mark comforting me, not him. But Robert's words of support meant the world to her. He had been there for her when she needed someone the most.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Elizabeth sat in the eerie darkness with her arm laid protectively over Ella's tiny, fragile body. There was absolutely no way she could sleep at the moment. She was frightened to take her eyes off her baby for a second. The last time she looked away, she woke to find her baby had swallowed an ecstasy tablet. So Elizabeth simply sat and watched her child sleep, knowing that Ella wasn't actually sleeping despite her wished and prayers. Light flooded in as the PICU door swung open and heavy footsteps clicked noisely along the concrete floor.  
  
"I can take over for a while" Mark offered calmly, placing his arm around his wife's trembling body.  
  
"No" she gritted her teeth before shaking him of angrily. "I've stayed here this long, why move now?"  
  
"You should get some rest, you're still ill" he lectured, reaching out to feel her forehead.  
  
"And our daughter's still ill" she spat in rage, glaring at him furiously. "One of us has to stay by her side Mark. We can't all take trips down to the cafeteria with Rachel!"  
  
"Elizabeth what do you expect me to do? Allow her to wander round the ER alone?" he asked in a puzzled tone, shrugging his shoulders in confusion.  
  
"I don't care what you do anymore Mark" the surgeon sighed sadly, resting her head beside Ella's chest.  
  
The same footsteps travelled back along the floor before the PICU door opened and shut with a violent slam. She was alone again. Surrunded by nothing more than miserable darkness, Elizabeth held her face in her hands, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks like an avalanche of snow. She wasn't even sure what exactly she was crying about. The fact her nine month year old daughter was at death's door? The fact that her marriage was crumbling down before her very eyes? Or the fact she was pining for the man who had given her nothing but grief over the past four years? Elizabeth Corday's life was crashing down in flames and she felt powerless to stop it. The landslide had officially begun. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Author's Notes: I apologise if chapter one was a little slow, it's the stepping stone for future chapters and the beginning of the main storyline. I know probably a few of you are thinking that our Lizzie wouldn't want Romano there but he provided comfort when she needed it the most. She wanted reassurance which Mark wasn't there to provide. Romano listened to her when Mark was busy with Rachel, the one responsible for Ella's condition. Before people flame me, I don't hate Mark, this is just an interesting twist I thought of to the Liz/Mark/Rachel/Ella storyline. Okay so the title of the fic is taken from the song 'Revolving Walls' by the Painted ID, and the chapter's title is taken from the song 'Landslide' by Stevie Nicks. So will Mark and Elizabeth's marriage collapse? Will Ella survive? What will happen to Rachel? What will come of Elizabeth's longing for a certain surgeon's comfort? Do you want me to continue, please tell me so. Feedback is very much appreciated!! 


	2. Being A Family

Revolving Walls  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The Weight Of The World  
  
"A Simple Twist Of Fate"  
  
Disclamier: Don't own ER, never will do. It's just a dream of mine.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"You are my sunshine, my ray of sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey...."  
  
A quiet gurgle was heard in the darkened room as the small baby cradled lovingly in the safety of her mother's arms responded to the lullaby sung to her. A loud sigh echoed across the room as the mother bent down to place a tender kiss on the child's forehead.   
  
"Everything will be okay my darling" Elizabeth promised, leaning back into the large wooden rocking chair. She closed her weary eyes for a moment and pressed her lips together, the stress of the previous day's events clearly taking their toll on the exhausted woman. She wanted to fall asleep. She wanted to snuggle up and allow sleep to over-take her weak and tired body. But she couldn't. She couldn't sleep for fear of what might happen to her precious baby. The last time she slept, she awoke to find Ella had accidently swallowed an ecstasy tablet, she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. The truth was Elizabeth Corday was frightened. Fightened of losing the one person she loved more than anything else, her beautiful Ella. If she continued to keep watch over the child, then nobody could take her away from the surgeon. Running a hand through her curly, tangled locks of hair, she rubbed the temple of her forehead irritably and stifled a yawn. It was every mother's worst nightmare- not being able to protect your own flesh and blood. The child you carried around and protected inside your womb for nine months. Elizabeth ran a finger across Ella's pale skin. It felt so smooth and delicate, like a piece of polished ivory. She was the most beautiful creation the woman had ever cast her eyes upon. And she belonged to her. Only her. Placing the baby carefully down into the white cot, Elizabeth ran her fingers through the short, curly strands of Ella's fair hair before collapsing into the chair nearby. Where's Mark, she shook her head in frustration, bitterly annoyed by his decision to work today. How could he think about any other patient when his own daughterwas currenly lying in the PICU after a near fatal overdose? When she really thought about it, Elizabeth realised she was not at all surprised by her husband's behaviour. It was all so typical of Mark to run away from his problems and not face them head on. Yet she still couldn't forgive him for not being there when she and Ella needed him the most. She needed support and comfort, a figure to lean upon during these troubled times.   
  
"Daddy, will be here soon Ella" she sighed, a bitter laugh threatening to claw it's way out of her throat as she realised how empty her words meant. Bringing a hand to her crumpled face, the woman burst into a fit of tears, rocking back and forward in the chair as the tears fell freely down her cheeks. Truthfully she didn't want Mark there with her at that particular moment in time. Truthfully she was thinking about him once again.  
  
* * * * *  
  
She stood perfectly still for a moment, frowning as she stared back at her reflection in the mirror. Her curly hair looked   
  
a dreadful fright, dark circles lay under her eyes and her pale lips were cracked and chapped. She looked and felt like a living corpse. The dizziness and vomitting had resided that morning leaving her with just a dull headache. It had been a far cry from the glamorous Elizabeth Corday a few weeks back when Mark had suggested they go out for dinner. Oh how time could turn your life upside down so quickly. Elizabeth stepped back from the mirror and leaned back against the bathroom wall, her head spinning with snippets from the conversation she had just shared with Rachel. The young teenager had looked frightened and remorseful but Elizabeth simply could not forgive her. She wanted to, wanted to listen and forgive the girl but she simply couldn't. All she held was utter rage and hatred for the person responsible for Ella's overdose. And to some extent that included Mark too. He knew rachel could not be trusted, that she wasn't dependable yet he had trusted her with their most precious pocession. She felt terrible for wishing to ship Rachel away, the surgeon knew the brutal truth of being shipped away by your family, of feeling unloved and unappreciated. But Rachel needed structure, she needed to live in a world where 'sorry' simply doesn't fix your problems. For as long as she had known him, Mark was a man who simply never took responsibilty. He never made a stand, always spent more time trying to be everyone else's friend. Kids needed parents, especially someone of Rachel's age. Perhapas it was an accident that nobody could have anticipated, but Elizabeth had carried Ella around with her for nine months and was not going to lose her now because of Mark's daughter's negligance. She was frustrated at so many people, the step-daughter for invading her life, Mark for always making excuses for Rachel, herself for not making a stand sooner. And that was why she ordered Rachel to leave, Elizabeth had been left with no option but to make a stand. If Mark was not prepared to do so, she certainly was. Pushing open the bathroom door, the intense light from the hospital corridors blinded her for a brief moment as she set off towards the elevators. Faces seemed to stare at her as she made her way through the crowds, judging and asking how she could possibly have allowed her own child to swallow drugs. Elizabeth resumed a stern face as she ignored their questioning looks and punched the elevator button violently. As the doors slowly slid apart, the surgeon froze on the spot as she came face to face with the man standing directly opposite her.  
  
"Lizzie?" he sounded surprised, studying the woman from head to toe as she stood frozen on the spot. She could almost hear her own erratic heartbeat amongst the constant backdrop noise of the hospital floor. The palm of her trembling hands were drenched in sweat as a lurch of dizziness overtook the woman. "You know you have to actually step inside in order to travel upstairs" he presented her with his usual smug grin. "Wonderful invention don't you think?"  
  
"I'm sorry" she apologised, shaking her head before taking a few small steps into the elevator. She couldn't understand why she was feeling like this, especially around Robert. And yet as the elevator doors shut tightly, she felt a sudden urge to pour her entire heart out to him. To tell someone how she was coping, or rather not coping. She knew he would listen and understand, despite his arrogance and brashness he always did listen, even Kerry would agree with her on that particular statement.  
  
"I heard Ella was extubated this morning" he turned to face her, folding his arms across his chest in await for a reply.  
  
"She's making excellent progress" the woman nodded and smiled, choosing to look at the ground below rather than his watchful stare. "She's been sick twice after eating but that was expected"  
  
"That's good, I'm happy she's doing well" Robert replied, taking a step closer towards the female surgeon. "And how are you coping?"  
  
"I'm.......I'm not coping very well" she answered honestly, self-conciously pleased at least one person was lending support at this dreadful time. "I don't know what I'm supposed to think or feel, my mind is a complete mess at the moment"  
  
"Well I think you're coping fantastically. You're too hard on yourself at times, most people would have broke down by now"  
  
"Thank you" Elizabeth allowed herself to smile for a moment. It was comforting to realise that at least one person acknowledged the emotional struggle that was now her life.  
  
"I've handed your dictations over to Edson, the ass that he is I decided he could work your load" Robert grinned as he placed one hand on his hip, using his common form of sarcasm to disguise a simple gesture of kindness. "Take as much time off as you need though, we can manage without you. Your family is your number one priority at the moment" he finshed, offering the English woman a faint smile as his dark eyes studied her intensely.  
  
"Family" she snorted, bitind her lip in a bid to hold back the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "It was family that caused this catastrophe" she shifted her weight nervously from foot to foot, aware of Robert's watchful stare, observing her emotions, studying her features. Any other time she would have found this chilling, but now...but now she found it strangely attractive.  
  
"I have to hand it to you Lizzie, takes some guts being able to face the evil step-daughter again"  
  
Elizabeth stifled a laugh at the man's comforting attempts to humour her throughout the dreadful situation. His sarcastic comments and degrading remarks had thoroughly disgusted and irritated the woman in the past, yet now she found them to be rather...refreshing. It was certainly a welcome form of normality in respect to the nightmare her step-daughter had caused.  
  
"I'm surprised Greene hasn't informed the police yet. He seemed like such a righteous man down in the ER"  
  
"That's the problem, our daugher nearly died yesterday yet all he seems to do is run around in circles chasing Rachel. She needs to learn from this lesson, not be treated like some bloody princess!"  
  
"Have you talked to Mark about this?"  
  
"I can't remember the last time we talked. It's one argument after another. I know Rachel is his daughter....."  
  
"And he should know that Ella is his other daughter" Robert narrowed his eyes before interupting the female surgeon, the elevator doors opening to both doctor's great surprise.  
  
"Robert...." she began to answer him but promptly stopped as a surgical nurse approached the couple with a cordless phone clutched tightly in her hands.  
  
"Dr Romano, there's a situation in OR two, Dr Edson requests to speak to you" she informed him, offering the phone to him as he stepped outside the elevator.  
  
"Why I wanted this job....." Robert cursed under his breath, turning to face an amused Elizabeth one last time. "Before I forget, dinner's on me again" he smiled, patting her lightly on the arm, his smooth fingers sending an instant shiver of excitement down her spine. She placed a hand upon the elevator wall in order to balance herself as another brief lurch of dizziness passed over her, a blurred image of Robert pacing down the corridor into the distance. Why did she feel like this? Why him of all people? Robert 'Rocket' Romano? For as long as she had known him, she had been disgusted by the man, infuriated by his discontinuation of her sponsership, for his daily harassment, for his bullying tactics. Yet in the wake of her crumbling marraige, she had viewed him in a completely different light. Kind, caring, compassionate and considerate. Qualities she never imagined she would ever associate with the arrogant, heartless surgeon. He was there to listen, Mark.....Mark was not. And so as Elizabeth Corday braced herself for another argument with her husband in the PICU, her mind wandered to the mysterious male surgeon, seemingly her only saviour in a world that was slowly crumbling to pieces around her. Hell had officially arrived.  
  
Author's Notes: So how will Elizabeth's new found feelings for Romano affect her relationship with him? Will Mark find out? Does their marriage even stand a chance of surviving after so much tragedy? If you want me to continue please say, feedback greatly appreciated!! Thanks for reading folks!! xxx 


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